There is something to be said for being the smartest or the most talented one in the room...too bad it doesn't help much in reality.
Success, by any definition, is a team sport. I learned this little detail the hard way. There was a time in my life that I thought that if I wanted to make anything out of myself, I'd be responsible for all of it by myself. I thought I could do everything primarily because I thought I should do everything. I needed to know how to be the boss, the accountant, the creative director, the marketing manager, the HR director, set the strategy and do the work with my clients. Even if I hired or worked with others, I wanted to be the final say on everything. This was a brilliant strategy until three things happened.
1. I learned I wasn't good at everything
2. I didn't have the energy to do everything
3. I failed
The human animal is a social animal and our survival and success depend on our ability to find communities of people who share our values and beliefs. When these communities form, trust emerges. It is then that the human animal will adapt from a survival instinct by self-preservation to one of working for the good of the community. Both are designed to help the individual survive, but it is the community that has the greater chance of not only survival but success.
The book Wisdom of Crowds delves into this. Groups of people make more accurate decisions than individuals, for example. In other words, asking for help is scientifically proven to enhance the quality of the decisions we make.
Once I hit a point where I had no choice but to ask for help, things started to dramatically change. For one, I let go of the belief that I should do everything which meant I finally accepted that there was no way I could do everything. The more honest I was to myself and out loud about my strengths and my weaknesses, the more people who showed up to help do the things I was not good at.
There is not a single thing I'm doing these days that is not as a direct result of someone helping me. Some showed up to do specific tasks that I'm no good at - like accounting. Some take specific responsibility for things that I don't excel at - like developing systems. But the vast majority of the help that I've been given comes from people who have introduced me to someone they think could benefit from my message and from whom I could benefit from their platform. In other words, mutually beneficial introductions...introductions that are good for the community.
The more willing I am to ask for help, the more I am able to help others. I've transformed from working for myself to working for others which, ironically, has helped me grow as an individual more than I ever imagined.
Offer your strengths to others and you'll be amazed how many people offer their strengths to you.
Not only Success but life itself is a team sport. It's true that one can not succeed if one finds it uneasy to trust others with tasks one is not good at. I am inspired by this. Thank you for bringing this out to the public.
Posted by: A.Rash | 03/22/2011 at 08:12 AM
I will be asked to do everything the best I think! Can read your blog with my own than I found too much difference! I admire you!
Posted by: creative recreation | 08/10/2010 at 04:09 AM
This is a terrific message for parents! There will be link to your post in the August 10th issue of Parenting News, our free weekly e-zine for parents and teachers. More at www.WholeHeartedParenting.com. Thanks again!
Posted by: Maggie Macaulay | 08/02/2010 at 01:10 PM
Thank you for your words of wisdom, Mr. Sinek! You are 100% correct! We all need to learn to ask for help when we need it.
Posted by: Noelle | 08/01/2010 at 07:48 PM
Your on once again.
Mr Sinek since I was a little kid my first question was always "why". In college I learned the answer is always "depends" but thats another story.
Being from KY, I chose health and fitness as a career and you have helped me tune in my personal beliefs on Life. I thank you for that.
Posted by: David Nuckols | 07/28/2010 at 12:24 AM
Thank you for sharing. Every word is true. I have experienced the same thing myself.
Posted by: Khush-AdSense Information | 07/27/2010 at 08:36 AM
Thanks for this post, it has helped me a lot. I was thinking just the way you mentioned, i thought i could do everything, but it's time to start trusting people and help them.
Posted by: Javier | 07/26/2010 at 01:21 PM
I must start asking for help!
I guess I do too much myself instead of focusing on the things I'm really good at.
Thanks for this post!
PS - Your interview on Mixergy.com blew my mind! :-)
Posted by: Constantin | 07/26/2010 at 10:38 AM