The Honesty Test

“Have you finished that report I need?” my boss asked me.

“I’m nearly done with it. I’ll give it to you by end of day tomorrow,” I replied.

The report wasn’t late and he would indeed get it by the end of the following day. The problem was that I wasn’t being honest. I said I was nearly done, when in fact I’d barely started.

It was just a harmless little white lie that came out almost like a reflex, like an involuntary response. I didn’t say it to mislead my boss; I said it so I wouldn’t look like a fool in front of him. It was self-preservation. There’s no harm in that… is there?

Being honest is tougher to do than most people think. With no intention of misleading people, we tell little white lies nearly every day. Sometimes we tell a little fib to protect ourselves, like the example above, and sometimes we do it to be polite or to avoid offending someone. For example, your friend comes up to you at his wedding and asks: “Isn’t this the best wedding ever?” In reality, the food was bland, the band sucked and there was construction going on next door. But we still say: “Yes! It’s excellent.” Which, by any standard, is a complete lie.

The people in the world who make a real impact are always completely honest -- always. People may disagree with them, they may not be liked, but they are always respected for telling the truth. Simon Cowell, for example, is the only honest voice on American Idol. What he lacks is social grace. Love him or hate him, we respect him for his honesty.

Take this test: For the next 48 hours try being honest 100% of the time. If you find yourself in a position in which you may offend someone with the truth, then answer a different question. For example, if you find yourself at a bad wedding and you’re asked if you’re enjoying it, respond with one thing you did enjoy. “It was so special to see you finally get married,” for example.

I took the test and the impact of being honest surprised me. I had a meeting with a senior staffer for a highly regarded member of congress and she asked me a pointed question: “Did you do any research on the congressman before this meeting?” Had I not taken the pledge to tell no lies, I would have replied “a little,” to not look like a complete buffoon. Instead, I replied honestly: “I didn’t.” No excuses, just the honest answer. At which point she said: “OK, so let me give you some background then.”

Her question wasn’t meant to test me. She asked so she could establish a baseline for how much I knew. Because I was being honest with her, she told me everything I needed to know, which she wouldn’t have done had I told a little harmless lie. Being honest helped me.

Take the honesty test for the next 48 hours and tell me what happened in the comments...and don't lie.

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Comments

[Personal loans]

That's true. Nowadays It is very tough to get an honest man.It is a rare case.we all say"Honesty is the best policy" but cannot maintain this honesty in our practical life.that's the lesson this blog has tried to teach us.Thanks for sharing it.

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[monster energy hats]

Very useful article for me, there is more information I have is very important. Thank you! I'm glad you could get out of it to share with us.

[chrisitian louboutin]

Okay! No white lies for 48 hours. By the way I received my copy of "Start with Why" today from Amazon. I haven't started reading it but will soon!

[christian louboutin]

I agree with your idea.You look like very talented.It is very happy to meet you. Thank you!

[Mary]

I loved this article. Honesty is something I truly value and strive for in my life. To me, this is easier said than done. I have been conditioned to tell little white lies since I was a little girl. All these lies were driven by fear. For me, being 100% honest would be a real challenge. I am inspired. I am going to try telling the absolute truth for the next 48 hours and report back. I like the tips on how to be honest without hurting anyone – including me. Thank you!

[coach sale]

That's great fantastic! I think your blog will brought the house down, I reading your article with much more pleasure. Thanks a lot indeed.

[Tony]

Honesty is something I made a principle when I started my business. I am honest about things in a way I couldn't be when I worked for another employer because it is implied there is some expectation you never show any weakness. However, in my business, when I meet clients I tell the truth honestly with surprising results. For example if they ask me to develop something for them I know I don't have the skill for I say so. No one has ever complained about this - in fact it has made me closer to my clients and they trust me more. They appreciate knowing the truth so much they stick around even when I've told them I can't deliver exactly what they are after and have offered to help them find someone who can.

[Katie Jones]

... Well, among other things, a cashier gave me two boxes of 18 ct. eggs for $2 even though I told her they were $1.92 a piece. It was good.

Reporting back, not because I don't have a freakish need for people to know that I'm honest, but because I do, and I committed to reporting back, so here you are.

[Natalie]

What a great piece. Being willing to be honest is what I have always really admired about Simon Cowell. Where I differ from him and perhaps the commentator who referred to Brutal Honesty, is that honesty need never be brutal and can be delivered with kindness and compassion.

It really helps to self-refer so that you remember that the "truth" you are sharing is coloured by your own filters, insights and failings and is truth as you experience it, not necessarily a universal Truth.

Though even then, it is challenging to be 100% honest in a society that survives on collusion with each other's lies and as you change your part of the deal, your previous partners in collusion may not be very appreciative at all. However, it may well open the door to meeting with, working with and living with other more honest people or freeing up others in your life to be more honest too.

Very inspiring either way!

[Mattedmundson]

Love it! Just finished a series on authentic selling (even referenced your book), and honesty is a massive part of that. Telling the truth has really helped me in business!

[Louis]

OK read this and had to make a call to a real estate agent to say the shop they were offering me was too expensive. Difficult call as they get quite huffy and say things like - Well that's all there is, and you're not going to find cheaper in prime locations, but I took the pact so....In fact I have a meeting on Monday to discuss other parts of town which could be suited to my situation and she was really helpful...so maybe it does pay to be honest after all.

[Marie Kletke]

Being honst is not easy. I made a decision to live honestly two years ago. Recently, I ran a red light with a cop sitting DIRECTLY behind me. He pulled me over. Before he could say anything, I said " I'm sorry. I goofed. It's totally my fault. I was joking around with my grandkids (in the car) and I completely blanked out. My mistake." He looked at me and said," Okay. As long as you're alright." He turned around, got in his car and left. I was completely stunned.

[Katie Jones]

Yes, but with two rules:

1) I have to honestly communicate my message to people in a way that they get to the heart of what I'm saying as much as possible
2) Part of being honest means I can't think I totally understand what I'm hearing. So I must be sure to understand that before I respond.

[AC]

Okay! No white lies for 48 hours. By the way I received my copy of "Start with Why" today from Amazon. I haven't started reading it but will soon!

[John Robb]

My friend and management consultant, Jim Crocker, has espoused this thinking for a long time. He calls it Brutal Honesty. Honesty is an incredibly powerful tool. It is certainly tough to do but well worth it.

[Amy Thorne]

Perhaps it's the case that "people in the world who make a real impact are always completely honest," but that doesn't mean that by being completely honest, you'll make a real impact on the world.

I value honesty. I've mostly followed a 100% honesty rule (maybe 95-99%) for many years. One thing I have realized is there are lots of situations when people don't want to hear the truth and telling it doesn't get you ahead.

Mostly, I've observed this in the workplace, with superiors who want to hear you agree their ideas are great, or that you'll have no problem implementing their plans to schedule. I used to get bad performance reviews for this--it was called "not having a can-do attitude."

[Joaquin Paolo]

excellent post and a fun little exercise to test integrity. To tell the truth with a touch of social grace is a great skill to have and an admirable one at that. When your values match your behaviors...that's when you achieve integrity. Cheers Simon (both of you).

[Mars Dorian]

haha, that's awesome. I admit, I tell a lot of white lies everyday, but only to protect me and decrease the "damage" I do on people !

ok,ok. I'm going to try it for 2 days, and then I write you back to report what happened.