The Pictures You'll Never See

I returned from Afghanistan this week. I went as a guest of the Air Force to experience the remarkable work they do, first hand. "The grand ballet," the Commander of Air Mobility Command calls it. I flew on various types of aircraft on various kinds of missions. I watched an air drop, supplying soldiers on the ground with fuel, water and ammunition. I rode on an aeromedical evacuation as 37 wounded soldiers and marines were brought home, one in critical condition. There was one more mission I would join - one we didn't expect, one we didn't plan on joining. This was the flight that brought home a fallen soldier.

Just the three of us, me and the two Airmen with whom I traveled, were aboard the plane with the crew and the casket. One solitary, flag draped casket strapped to the middle of the cargo bay. The flight was nine and half hours long. We sat in the back staring at the casket for take off and landing. We slept in sleeping bags on the floor of the cargo bay, 10 feet away from the fallen soldier. It was a quiet trip. We didn't talk much. We all kept to ourselves. Now and then, I'd catch myself staring at the box. Now and then, I'd catch myself welling up...and if a tear fell, I'd let it. It was only right. It was an honor to bring him home.

I took a lot of pictures on this trip, but there are no pictures of the two missions that moved me most - the aeromedical evacuation and the HR mission, as it's officially called (HR stands for human remains). If you look at my pictures, you'd think my trip was fun. You'd think that going into a war zone is cool.

It's not.

It's hard.

The work is hard. And the people are hard.

The pictures I wish I could bring home to share, so we can truly understand what war is like, don't exist. I have only my stories...and I will tell those stories whenever I can.

Someone I know at AMC forwarded an email that was sent to them today. It's from the pilot who flew 20 of the soldiers who were killed in the recent Chinook crash back home. I have been given permission to share his email on this blog. Every word is as he wrote it...only his name has been left out.

I don't know who he is but I'd like to thank him for sharing his story. His story doesn't replace the pictures we need to see...but it comes close.

 

I had an unforgettable day yesterday and wanted to share it with you.  I
know we've all sat around and discussed in detail why we do what we do and
if we will be willing to continue to do what we do day in and day out
regardless of deployments, retirement decisions, job opportunities, missed
birthdays, missed holidays, etc.  This is something I wanted to share and
you were the people that came to mind.  It's another reason I continue to
serve.I guess because many others do and sacrifice a lot more, some even
their lives.

My crew was alerted yesterday to find that our mission had changed.   We
were now a backup to a high priority mission originating from Afghanistan.
When I asked where we would be going the answer was "back to the states".
Later I learned our destination was Dover.

I was the aircraft commander for one of two C-17s that transferred the
Chinook helicopter crash soldiers back home.  The crew that started this
mission in Afghanistan would end up running out of crew duty day and need
another crew to continue the soldier's journey.  We just happened to be
available.  After being alerted and going through our normal sequence, I
found myself at the foot of the aircraft steps.

Before I took my first step upward I noticed a transfer case close to the
door.  I had only seen one in pictures.  The American Flag was tucked
smartly, folded and secured on top.  I paused at the bottom of the stairs,
took a deep breath and continued up with my mind and eyes focusing on making it to the next ladder leading to the cockpit.  However, as I entered, I
couldn't help but notice the remaining nineteen transfer cases in the cargo
compartment.  The entire cargo compartment was filled with identical
transfer cases with American Flags.  I made my way up to the cockpit and
received a briefing from the previous aircraft commander.  After the
briefing we exchanged a handshake and the other pilot was on his way.

I felt a need to ensure the crew focused on their normal duties.  I
instructed the other two pilots to began the preflight.  I went back down
into the cargo compartment to see what needed to be done and find the
paperwork I needed to sign.  The cargo compartment was now  filled with
numerous people from the mortuary affairs squadron.  They were busy
adjusting, resetting and overall preparing the cases for their continued
flight.  Before they began I asked who was in charge because I knew there
was paperwork I needed to sign.  I finally found a Staff Sergeant who was
working an issue with the paperwork.   After it was complete, he brought it
up to the cockpit for me to review and sign.

There are moments in life I will never forget.  For me, it's the days my son
and daughter were born.  Another occurred five months ago when I had to
deliver the unthinkable news to a mother that her son was killed in
Afghanistan and although I didn't anticipate another day like that this
soon, yesterday was another.  I looked at the paperwork I was signing and
realized the magnitude of the day.  I glanced over the paperwork and signed.
In a way, I felt I had taken ownership of these fallen soldiers.  It was now
my duty to ensure they make it home.

After confirming the preflight was complete and the aircraft was fueled, I
went outside to start my walk-around.  As I walked down the steps, a bus had parked in front of the aircraft and unloaded eleven passengers.  The
passengers were fellow SEAL team members who were escorting the fallen back to the states.  I stood at the front of the aircraft and watched them board. Every one of them walked off the bus with focus in their eyes and
determination in their steps; just as I imagine they do when they go on a
mission.  I made eye contact with the lead SEAL, nodded my head in respect
and he nodded back.

Finishing my walk-around, I stopped at the bottom of the stairs.  I looked
up into the cargo compartment; two American Flags and one SEAL Team Six flag hung from the top of the cargo compartment.  Three of twenty transfer cases visible; one with an American Flag and two with Afghan flags.  I looked up at my aircraft and saw, "United States Air Force" painted on the side and I stood trying to take it all in.  I wanted to make certain that I never
forget these images.  That I never forget the faces of the SEALS, the smell
of the cargo compartment or the sun slowly rising over the landscape.  It's
important that I don't forget.  We need to honor the dead, honor the
sacrifice of the fallen.

I understand my role in getting these fallen soldiers home is insignificant
compared to the lives they lived and the things they did for our country.
Most of it we will never know.  All I know is every American should see what
I've seen.  Every American should see the bus loads of families as they exit
the freeway headed for Dover AFB to reunite with their fallen or witness the
amount of time, effort, people and equipment that go into ensuring our
fallen have a honorable return.

The very next day we took the same aircraft back overseas.  We had leveled
the aircraft at our cruise altitude and I walked down to the cargo
compartment.  No more American Flags hung from the ceiling.  All the
transfer cases were gone.

Instead I watched a father lay with his son, cradled on his chest, on the
same spot that only yesterday held a fallen soldier.  I watched a young
girl, clutching a teddy bear, sleeping quietly where the fallen had laid.  I
realized so many Americans have no idea where the fallen lay.

I'm honored to be one that does.

 

Comments

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My husband is a crew cheif on the C-17. I know there are a lot of jokes between pilots and crew chiefs, but the mission is still the same.

[Herve Leger]

Very cool idea. I think I will have to try this one. I just love the "It's the Little Things" line. Thanks!

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[Authentic NFL Jerseys]

So Franck, which part of "Kurkov believes Ukrainian writing is more vibrant than the current Russian literature scene" sounded dismissive to you?

[Mark]

It is a moving story. Good job. But no less moving than that of the tens of thousands of people who have died at the hands of American soldiers (or bombs), many of them were never taken home.

We can get as romantic and sentimental as we want, but that's not going to change the fact that we have invaded two countries for the wrong reasons.

[Abe]

I'm an aeromedical evacuation Medic that just arrived at my deployed location. We have a copy of your article emailed in our inbox and just want to say thanks for sharing your experience.

I've been on a few mission where we have both patients and HR, it wasn't easy but it reminded me why I do this job. I do this because of those men and women and their families. My friends and coworkers just hope that we somehow made a difference for a lot of these guys.

[Lorelei Walker]

No one needed any pictures from the messages above. The pictures evoked in my mind were clear when created by your messages.

Thank you for what you do for all of us - so many of us at home hurry through our daily activities. We don't often think about how it is "paid for" by our military. You sharing your experiences will help us all be more aware of the price that the families and loved ones pay - as well as yourselves.

God bless you all!

[John J. Wall]

Thanks for your post Simon, it's disheartening to the war drop off the front page while we still have soldiers abroad, worse yet to have it return to the news with greater tragedy.

I've been working with a number of projects over the past couple of years, for anyone interested in making a difference:

You can always send care packages to a soldier thanks to the work of http://www.anysoldier.com/

Reading materials are send to soldiers via:
http://www.operationcomixrelief.org/

For support of soldiers with post traumatic stress syndrome and/or traumatic brain injury:
http://www.homebaseprogram.org/

I have to thank you for your tweet last week about calling a friend, I did the next day and my friend had just been released from being at the hospital in ICU for over 20 days.

Thanks again.

[Blake Kuhn]

Simon,

I'm so happy you shared this story. I'm a big fan of the work you do. Thank you for being a man of purpose and a man of thought.

I was driving down a 4 lane road (2 lanes on either side) today. A funeral procession was approaching me the opposite way. The traffic on both sides was somewhat light. As it approached I was astonished to discover that no one was stopping to let the 3 dozen or so cars through.

I immediately pulled over with my hazards on and four vehicles buzzed right around me and kept going. As I stopped I noticed two of the four slowed to a stop after realizing what they had done. Now other cars going the opposite direction were stopping too.

Even though we don't know who it was that died or how. The simple fact is that someone lost their life, and there were dozens of people who only have memories left of their loved one. It's such a simple sign of respect to stop and acknowledge this important custom.

I have a cause, that our fellow citizens don't grow callous to the loss of life. When people fail to stop and reflect on how valuable the loss of a life is, then they loose the value in their own. Especially when it was lost while defending the very freedoms we have (at least for the present generation).

What I did today is something I'm not proud of, it's what must be done and it deserves no recognition. Those who refuse to stop are simply missing out on what I gained. A simple reminder to make everyday my masterpiece, to love and to live with no regrets.

[John Colbert]

My God! That is a moving story. Lest we forget...

[Jacqueline]

My husband is a crew cheif on the C-17. I know there are a lot of jokes between pilots and crew chiefs, but the mission is still the same.

May God bless you and your family...and the rest of our Military as well.

[Tom Davis]

I'm loadmaster on the C-17 and i'm sad to say that on my most recent deployment I was averaging about 1-2 HR movements a week. It really puts things in perspective and it never gets easier every time I have to do a ceremony whether it be downrange or at Dover AFB.

[Anonymous]

Thank you.

[Joy Markwart]

Thank you so much for sharing your experience, I am also a spouse of a C-17 pilot and truly appreciate this! take care!

[Sarah Byrum]

I am the spouse of a C-17 pilot and I am so grateful for your willingness to share your experience. Thank you and take care.

[ARMY VET]

Sacrifice and Dedication to duty are two words civilians may never truly understand their depth of meaning, but this story comes close to explaining both of them. The camaraderie shared by those in the military is something I am so glad to have experienced and shared. It "IS" what makes me who I am today and forever will. Seeing the news stories about my fallen brothers rips at my stomach just like a passed family member. God Bless All who fight this war on terror and especially Seal Team 6 and their families.

[David]

Wow, as someone who comes from a military family and the father of a son who about to join the Royal Marines, I can't help but to feel moved every time I see a see a coffin come home with a British or allied flag draped across it.

And words can't express how grateful and proud I'm am to all those men, women, fathers, sons, daughters, wives and mothers who are prepared to put their lives on the line and make the ultimate sacrifice, so that the rest of us can sleep peacefully at night.

My thoughts and sympathy go out to all the family and friends of the Chinook aircrew and Navy Seals that died recently.

Thank you for sharing this story.

[Sara]

I could hardly breath while reading this post. It is a reminder of how real war is and how precious life is. His email was so heartfelt and in a sad way, beautiful to read. Thank you for sharing it.

[Sorren Galiza]

I didn't help my tears to fall.

It made me asked why do we need to end up with wars again?