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Chance Kintzley

It shouldn't be "Lie To Get What You Want", it should be "Lie To Give Others Opportunities To Care"

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Servers answering questions on assumptions is a personal pet peeve of mine and I know a lot of people resort to an "allergy claim" to get an accurate answer.

Michael got the outcome he was looking for - verified information about the base of the soup - but he had to use some dishonesty and fear to prompt the waitress to act. She was afraid of being responsible for hurting his health. Wide eyes, prompt response etc... A success indeed but I think we can do better.

What if we were really upfront with a server and said, "Hey, I imagine you have pretty good knowledge of the ingredients in most of the dishes... but this is something that is actually really important to me. Would you mind checking with a chef for me, so I could feel safer about what I'm eating?" This outcome allows for a potential connection of an authentic need with an authentic solution. I'd prefer it but who knows if it'd be just as successful!

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Esse texto nos leva a refletir de como temos convicções, por vários motivos. Uma delas poderia simplesmente ser pela devida confiança da garconete na pessoa que lhe entregou ou disse-lhe que aquela sopa era realmente de legumes. No entanto quando esta recebeu uma segunda informação do cliente ( no caso ), a própria garconete vendo que poderia acontecer algo muito pior do que apenas uma informação errada, se certificou de saber se aquela sopa era ou não realmente de legumes.

Account Deleted

Really impressed! Everything is very, very clear, open is a description of the problem. It contains the information. http://oakleysunglasseshut.org/


Thanks for this example, Simon. The tagline is, however, not simply about responsibility. The waitress acted out of fear. She wouldn't care about her customer, neither before nor after your friend's little lie. Her motivation wasn't anything like "hey, I can help this guy and that feels great". It was much more something like "OMG there's trouble coming up, how can I possibly avoid that?" She didn't even mind losing her face by admitting her carelessness. She simply is the wrong person in the wrong place, she needs training rather than lies. Ekke (http://b2b-brand.me/who-we-are)

Antonia Lo Giudice

Absolutely! When someone is given a responsibility, there is trust that has been given to them, they feel they have a value to contribute to that responsibility.

From my experience, I found that it was also very important to set realistic expectations in the responsibilities we give to others...In other words, know exactly where they are at..if they need to acquire skills to deliver, give them a support or teach them.

I have seen many "managers" sit in a meeting, discuss a particular individual's performance, "...I am so disappointed in John, I gave him a great opportunity, showed him I trusted him with (responsibility), he did not follow through...."

If you give me an opportunity to travel the world and tell me you have arranged a plane for me, all I have to do is fly around the world, I will NOT be able to take that opportunity....I DO NOT know how to fly a plane!!!

Yes, I can learn, however, it should be part of my responsibility and not just the traveling part. I will be overwhelmed and won't know where to start!


Great point.
Here's an example from running a nuclear submarine.
When things get complex and tricky, one of our favorite responses is to add a layer of supervision. For example, when navigating in congested or shallow water we add a "navigation supervisor" (NavSupe)between the quartermaster and the officer of the deck. His job is to supervise the quartermaster who keeps up with the ship's position and anticipates forward movement.

The problem is that this frequently doesn't make the ship safer. The quartermaster is now removed from the OOD so they don't talk directly to each other like they normally do and the NavSupe doesn't bother himself with the details of the plotting. So the guy with the most intimate knowledge of what's going on (the quartermaster) is pushed a step away from the guy giving orders about where the ship is going (OOD) and replaced by a manager.

Adding layers of management doesn't make things better, making the process better makes things better. and accountability.

A Facebook User

Great piece, as always. As a keen proponent of storytelling, I really like the way you trawl your personal experiences to make a point about workplace relationshps. So many people I talk to about using stories claim nothing interesting ever happens to them. But I guess it depends if you've got your eyes and ears open! BTW, I used to be a veggie and had that same conversation about the soup many times - if only I'd used the "will-cause-a-seizure" line!


Indeed, accountability is also a great tool for fooling *oneself* into accomplishing goals or maintaining habits. Aside from altering my environment, finding ways to hold myself accountable works wonders for self-motivation.

A Facebook User

Interesting story and a great point. Some people can't "self-motivate" themselves to do the right thing, and to perform to the best of their abilities, just because it is the right thing to do, and because we ought to push ourselves to do our best at whatever profession we choose.

Enrique Fiallo

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